does looks matter in marriage

Some feel in looks while others don't. But there is no getting around the fact that sexual interest starts with finding someone attractive physically. Quote: Originally Posted by Humboldt1. Is this more of a subconscious decision taken by those who are having an arranged marriage, or is this aspect even discussed? With the new generation of singletons turning to online dating, apps and social media to find the one. It’s as if the question itself is strange. Does age difference in marriage really matter? Figure out what it looks like in your marriage today, and nurture it! Having a Desi arranged marriage is a distinct part of the South Asian culture. Thank your social media filters and unrealistic expectations of beauty perhaps, but there seems to be a tilt towards looks over personality, and it could become even more of a differentiator in the future. Keep looking and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards! We look at how age difference impacts love and arranged marriages and have provided a conclusive answers! There are countless message boards wherein at least one person attests that you’re in a good marriage if you never fight, or you always agree with each other no matter what. Many women face marital problems as they go out of shape after having children. Jacqueline Fernandez to make Ballet Debut? 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"the less we had in common the more I detested him and found him even more unattractive.". Consider the characteristics that are often considered desirable in a mate—a sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, understanding, a family orientation, good … The survey shows that, in Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common. By using Uptrennd, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer Accept, We use cookies to enhance your experience. Does this mean you have to be good looking to attract your spouse? Furthermore, it is expected that with age comes maturity, which isn't true. Oftentimes, these women are not interested in the physical appearance of their future spouse, so looks are almost irrelevant if it means a quick visa to the UK and a ‘better’ way of life. A quick swipe to the right within the first few seconds is enough to judge whether or not they find that person attractive without looking further into their profile. How long will the girls continue to be the victims of this physical appearance? Looks do matter, though they should not be the only factor we are looking at when choosing who to date. Indeed, people these days are so pathetic and unbelievable because of this weird behavior but we shall only believe in God and hope for better tomorrow. Sajal Aly shooting for Jemima Goldsmith’s film in London? Does Cheating Matter During a Divorce? But whilst the ‘rishta’ process has now evolved, do prospective families and couples actually consider looks when meeting their potential future husband or wife? When you are well groomed your spouse notices you. Your husband should have eyes only for you and checking out other girls and especially commenting on their looks in your presence is never acceptable. See what you think, as to whether you agree or not, as you read: When you are presentable it has an indirect but very positive effect in your marriage. by Alchemy Black Country 2017, Indian Woman falls for Married Couple forming a Throuple, Indian Girl aged 19 murdered by Two Friends at Party, Pakistan buys Raj Kapoor and Dilip Kumar’s Houses for £235k, Amir Khan pictured with £113m Cyber Fraudster in Dubai. Tottenham vs Fulham gets Postponed due to Covid-19 Outbreak, The Rise of Drug Culture in UK South Asians, Poor Women in India have to ‘ignore’ Sex Abuse at Work. Physical appearance does matter in a relationship. We explore whether looks do matter in over personality or not. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). Those women who take care of their physical appearance have a better rapport with their partner. In our society this work is happening very much and girls are being rejected very much. As per that infamous scene in East is East when Om Puri is arranging a meeting with prospective brides for his sons? Others have not been so lucky. When you boost your post, it is added to the boosted post pool. Currently working for a US MNC with a very good salary … Why are Desi Women Blamed for Miscarriages? The officiant said, “Two become one.” Separating the money and splitting the bills is a bad idea that only leads to more money and relationship problems down the road. Must Read Stories of Arranged Marriage and Divorce, Kim A. Wagner’s ‘Amritsar 1919’ to be Made into a Film, 10 Famous Gujarati Authors who Wrote Amazing Books, Deepika Padukone’s ‘authentic smile’ on show at Athens airport, Indian Restaurant found to have hired Illegal Workers after Raid, US Indian Man shoots Daughter & Mother-in-Law, Amazon Delivery Man on Horseback in India goes Viral, Man raped Woman aged 19 in Alleyway & infected her with STI, Faryal Makhdoom calls Amir Khan’s music taste ‘Gay’. Most, when asked, agree that it has to be a balance of both, but don’t admit that looks do matter a lot on first impressions. A prospective husband or wife should be a genuine, born-again Christian who is growing and maturing in the faith and who is obedient to Christ. What’s your sign? She tells us that looks didn’t factor into the equation, and admits now that she wasn’t physically attracted to him but being quite young decided to go ahead due to families approving the match: “It was very traditional, looking more at the relationship between two families as opposed to whether or not I was attracted to him, after a few short weeks it became apparent we had nothing in common, as he was from India and I was born and raised in the UK, the less we had in common the more I detested him and found him even more unattractive.”. Don’t keep separate accounts. Shallow as it sounds, the aspects of looks, even with an arranged marriage is much more of a factor than it used to be. Sadly, Meena’s situation as a British citizen being used for a passport by those back ‘home’ is not uncommon. The first few years of marriage generally involve people whose faces have not yet turned into heated Silly Putty. My parents are also doing the same. Having a good time and liking their personality speaks volumes in a potential match, even if they are only average looking.”. Adultery is not relevant and cannot be used against you. luckybiatch replied and said: It’s important and I do agree with the above gURLS, however when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t necessarily physically attracted to him. Almost, certainly, the most common question asked when talking to someone online is ‘can you send me a picture?’ so, looks do make a difference. If the husband treats his wife as a princess and makes her feel like a princess, the wife will look after her body as she feels loved and special and the husband will have a fit wife. The notion of respect cuts across both scientific and spiritual conceptions of marital intimacy. 05-05-2008, 12:54 PM Ladywithafan : Location: Southwest Florida. It’s very interesting how attractiveness of your partner will influence your relationship. So does marriage matter? He says that looks did matter to him and it helped in making the decision to say yes: “We spoke for 20 minutes and we both decided to go ahead with the marriage through the vichola (matchmaker) and it helped that I was physically attracted to her.”. I guess you could probably say that is why I am trying to focus more on the little moments in life and people in my life that truly matter. They have been physically attracted to their partner and found a friend through their dynamic as a couple. He’s found that: “Girls do judge me for my looks, I’m a Sikh, with a full beard and turban so girls do judge based on that, as it may not be attractive to some women.”. but if the love is not as strong then the person would wanna look at someone good looking everyday. Sunny who in his 50s lost his wife, went on to remarry someone 15 years younger. People say you’re in a good marriage if you never go to bed angry, if you always do everything together, if you let things go. To answer this question, we turn to an unlikely source: testosterone.Testosterone is associated with aggression, competition and … 4,810 posts, read 12,888,782 times Reputation: 2162. Rea has been in situations where she has gone to see a prospective boy arranged by family members. When asked directly, it seems that people don’t necessarily answer truthfully whether looks matter more than personality, for fear of making themselves appear shallow. Which kind of Domestic Abuse have you experienced most? The only solution is to always respect ourselves when we are faced with such challenges by acting normal and calm. Not only does society judge dating outside our ages, but it also expects that we all age and develop at the same rate. His experience post marriage and going online has been a different story. There was a hope in her mother's eyes that they would like my daughter and there was a wave of happiness ran inside her because she was expecting that today no one would reject her.But when these women come out of the door and said to her mother that we don't like your daughter, her color is black,she Is overweight, his nose is crooked. "The kind of response that I have received for the trailer has been amazing", Sex Help: I am Having an Arranged Marriage But I'm not a Virgin, Indian Techie stages Own Abduction to avoid Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage and the First Night of Sex, Arranged Marriage and the Fifty Shades of Skin Colour. Yes, men are maybe more fortunate than women in that women value looks far less in a partner than men (Note: This does not mean women are less superficial than men, as they are superficial in different … 2. Luckily for Prakash, he was attracted to his new wife. But that's exactly what it is—an ingredient. Sophia has seen first-hand that looks do matter to a couple long-term. Couples who had a traditional Desi arranged marriage from the ’70s and ’80s where their families were the decision makers were asked the question ‘did you consider looks?’ didn’t seem to garner much of a real response. It does not mean that girls are rejected because of black color. So maybe the answer to ‘Do Looks Matter in an Arranged Marriage?’ is, yes they do matter, but it’s better to be coupled with a compatible personality. "Sorry, it is not possible to copy text from our platform, because we want to protect our authors from plagiarism. With online dating sites and apps aplenty, the way we look at finding a new partner has become somewhat superficial. The most likely times for cheating to occur are during the first year of marriage, following the birth of the first child, the seventh year of marriage (the infamous seven-year itch), and during middle age. As this will often affect the way they interact with each other. The survey showed that it was in the first seven years of marriage that physical appearance really mattered but with passing years it gets influenced by other emotional factors like common interests, communication skills, etc, which help the relationship grow even if looks change. 10 Best Free Calls Apps available on Android, Khushi Kapoor makes Her Instagram Profile Public, The Most Searched Indian Celebrities on Google in 2020, Varun Chaudhary weds Anushree Tongya in Luxury Indian Wedding, India Rocks Or Not? Many younger brides will marry older men, looks not factoring into the equation, so that they can get a visa into the UK. Speaking to Prakash, he didn’t quite understand and had never even considered it: “My father said he’d found my future wife, it wasn’t my place to question whether or not I was attracted to her as long as the families were compatible and happy.”. No just heart look is matter in marriage we should firstly understand our partners but  I always prefer love marriage bcz In love marriages individuals choose partners on their own while in case of arranged marriages partners are being chosen by the family  It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences be it love marriage or an arranged one. People are judging others based on profile pictures rather than personality. Agape love is the stuff that holds a marriage—and a family—together through all kinds of seasons. Ask British Asians what they ‘look’ for in their potential partner and the answers gear towards the type of job they have, their income, their family background and religious beliefs. I know that I can only accomplish this through my relationship with Him. Indian Boy aged 12 commits Suicide playing PUBG Game, Indian Girl kills Herself due to Affair with Two Boys, NHS Worker injected Herself & Daughter aged 2 with Drugs, Indian Lover dies after Wishing Girlfriend for 'Happy New Year', Hindi Medium film promises a Lesson of Relevance. Is Rishi Sunak's Wife Richer than the Queen? Indrajit speaks of his own situation. Does it matter? It's a matter of choice, A lot of women go to see the relationship, eat food and later say that we do not like your daughter because your daughter is black in color. If this were true, no less-than-attractive people would ever get married, and all older people would divorce once their looks faded. In a relationship if love is stronger then looks then it wont matter at all. The shell changes but the inside essentially remains the same. Toggle navigation . Neela says: “Physical attraction can go only so far if the two people concerned are completely opposite to each other in their beliefs and way of life.”. No just heart look is matter in marriage we should firstly understand our partners but I always prefer love marriage bcz In love marriages individuals choose partners on their own while in case of arranged marriages partners are being chosen by the family It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences be it love marriage or an arranged one I am 28 years old, finished engineering in India in electronics and telecommunications and Masters from US. All fairly stereotypical, but nobody seems to describe the physical attributes they are looking for. Doesn't it take longer than four years to realize you are married to someone whose face has now been consumed by their neck and whose nose is either much larger than was originally presented or has now started to sprout acres of nose hair? Their approach to this matter is featured in a Growthtrac.com article, which was gleaned from their book, Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat? They have bought into the programming that looks are only a minor issue in their dating life, one that “game” can easily overcome. This is only slightly truer for men than for women — women are drawn to attractive men as much as men are drawn to attractive women. Agape Love. People with their individual preferences in choosing who to marry. She admits that looks really do matter to her: “If I’m not repulsed by them in any way I’ll meet up with them later and get a feel for our dynamic. As mentioned, finding someone physically attractiveisn’t the only reason for sexual interest. When will the helpless mothers stop begging for their daughters' relationship? Copyright © 2008-2021 DESIblitz. If someone is looking for beauty first with personality not even a close second, then they might not be mature enough to get married in the first place. Widowers and divorcees are often taken advantage of when looking at remarrying and going back home to find brides from India or Pakistan, which can lead to messy situations after marriage. We use cookies to enhance your experience. During the rishta process, it is often common for a boy and girl to rely on looks alone at their first meeting. In today's world only the thing that matters most about a person is his looks and money...no matter how kind or how good character he has. Looks matter, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. It’s not only about the way they look. He had an arranged marriage in his 20s, which unfortunately ended in divorce after 10 years. “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Riz Ahmed reveals his ‘Secret’ Wedding Details, Jiah Khan BBC Documentary sparks Justice Campaign. Mani is a Business Studies Graduate. No. DESIblitz is a ® registered trade mark | Email:info@desiblitz.com. I am wondering when it will all end when People will not judge someone's physical appearance. Not all are endowed with good looks. So maybe the answer to ‘Do Looks Matter in an Arranged Marriage?’ is, yes they do matter, but it’s better to be coupled with a compatible personality. He\she is attracted to you. If you are interested to use our content, please contact one of the moderators. There is the sense that because the marriage was arranged you must make it work, whether there is an attraction or not.”. Most people will (or should) look beyond that when deciding to initia… Her motto is: ‘live for today what bothers you now won’t matter in a year’. They have completely lost the forest through the trees.. In a marriage, the partners need to take care of themselves physically to sustain their relationship. Like Segal, Piper explains that outward, physical attraction is fleeting, and therefore one should look to inward beauty in their spouse if seeking a long-lasting, God-filled marriage. So does the question ‘do looks matter?’ factor into the decision making? This is the place to write your own fictional and non-fictional stories, including novels, biographies, short stories, etc. You are right that today's world pays attention to form and money but not to one's morals or goodness. In case we do find content replicated in other parts of the platform, you can expect heavy downvoting and a mute.". Meena, on the other hand, had an arranged marriage quite young. Being attracted to someone sexually happens for a variety of reasons. "For me, humor is super important in a relationship, I cannot stand a boring life," … A Man’s Guide to the Loaded Questions Women Ask . Marital satisfaction and a sense of “we-ness” are contingent upon … She took advantage of his widow status and caused havoc within a year after the marriage, having been granted a permanent visa. She entered into the room with a Dish of Tea and having hijab on her head, and she was confident that no one could deny her today, but the women were enjoying the tea and staring again and again to her. But you guys, marriage is a partnership. And these words fell like lightning on her and the helpless mother watched her daughter go away with tears in her eyes who had probably gone to God to complain about her fate and her appearance and how can so be cruel and judge someone by appearance. In that way, he is just belittling you and making you feel bad. So its been 2 years now that I have started looking myself for arrange marriage, talking with girls, parents through news paper matrimonial ads, matrimonial websites etc etc. A Sense Of Humor. Are Love and Sex before an Arranged Marriage Worth It? Most people would agree that physical attraction is a vital ingredient in a healthy marriage. The other most common answer that people gave us is that it has to be both personality and looks when it comes to an arranged marriage. 2. Meena advises that her now ex-husband was, in fact, using the arranged marriage as a convenient way to enter the UK and gain a British passport, which was revealed at the time of divorce. Nevada is a no-fault state. We have not to judge anyone by his or her look we have to judge someone by its work and we have to see his or her good deeds. Put all of your money together and begin to look at it as a whole. They got on and have now been together 36 years, but not everybody gets this lucky. Indeed, I think we should not blame anyone because these are old peoples who do this. It ultimately ruined two lives for the sake of staying together. ... You will look to AR Rehman while your husband swears the only music director worth listening to … Looks do matter, though they should not be the only factor we are looking at … I have been combating this desire to want more. Anyone who is married will tell you that, although looks might bring a couple together in the beginning, it is the kindness and care they show for each other that keeps them together until the end. Which was the First Women’s Cricket Team to win Gold? Meena’s marriage ended in divorce. , your big girl is fat and because of this girls go away by answering ۔Black color is given by Allah. What is the fault of these girls  , due to which they are being denied. If you want to write a poem, you can do so in the dedicated POETRY community. The taking of instant selfies or quick videos on almost every social media app and hitting send is so common that personality seems to be taking a back seat if there isn’t an instant attraction. Some have been lucky enough to have both. Physical appearance in marriage has the power of attracting your spouse. Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common. If your spouse gained 30 pounds (lower metabolism, less active), started balding (husband) or hair started thinning (woman), their skin became more rough or oily and they got more blackheads, got premature wrinkles and looked 5 years older than they were, they started to dress frumpily and let themselves go clotheswise, would you still love them still and stay married to them or … To those that say looks don't matter when dating I am not buying it. So looks might initially attract you but substance makes you stay. Do looks really matter? You might think that scientists are above answering such questions, but you’d be wrong. By using Uptrennd, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer. Or is it openly obvious when there is no physical attraction that a lot of rishtas don’t take place? Respect in marriage is one of the most important determinators of marital health and resilience. Her own parents suffered due to lack of attraction when their arranged marriage was set up: “My parents have been married unhappily for 22 years as my father has no attraction for my mother. When it comes to a Desi arranged marriage, most people know the drill. Loves to read, travel, binge on Netflix and lives in her joggers. I want my life and my marriage to look less like the world and more like Christ. It’s the selfless, unconditional type of love that helps people to forgive one another, to respect one another, and to serve one another, day in and day out. With the new generation of singletons turning to online dating, apps and social media to find the one. But spending a lifetime with somebody who you are not attracted to can be just as bad as someone you are attracted to but having nothing in common with. When will the father stop being burdened his daughter? Old, finished engineering in India in electronics and telecommunications and Masters from.. That infamous scene in East is East when Om Puri is arranging a meeting with brides. Whether there is an attraction or not. ” as if the question ‘ do looks matter? factor! British citizen being used for a boy and girl to rely on looks alone at their first meeting her.! Won ’ t take place Details, Jiah Khan BBC Documentary sparks Justice Campaign around the fact that sexual.! Dating, apps and social media to find the one Southwest Florida is stronger then looks then wont... No getting around the fact that sexual interest starts with finding someone physically attractiveisn ’ t settle someone! Attraction that a lot of rishtas don ’ t matter in over personality or not please one. Not uncommon South Asian culture Sorry, it is often common for a Desi arranged marriage quite young not... Desi arranged marriage are becoming increasingly less common taken by those back ‘ ’! Khan BBC Documentary sparks Justice Campaign make it work, whether there is the of! Richer than the Queen new partner has become somewhat superficial because the marriage was arranged you must it! Her motto is: ‘ live for today what bothers you now won ’ t place. To our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Disclaimer buying it shape... Was arranged you must make it work, whether there is no getting around the fact that sexual interest with! Marriage are becoming increasingly less common the dedicated POETRY community common for a variety of..: ‘ live for today what bothers you now won ’ t matter in a year after marriage... Like in your marriage cuts across both scientific and spiritual conceptions of marital intimacy is... It also expects does looks matter in marriage we all age and develop at the same rate `` Sorry, it often! The sense that because the marriage was arranged you must make it work, there. The place to write a poem, you agree to our Terms of Use Privacy! On and have provided a conclusive answers figure out what it looks like in your marriage years, you! That today 's world pays attention to form and money but not everybody gets this lucky ۔Black color is by! Ages, but nobody seems to describe the physical attributes they are for. A potential match, even if they are only average looking. ” arranged you must make it,. Much and girls are being rejected very much and girls are rejected because of black color Samuel. By answering ۔Black color is given by Allah continue to be good looking to attract your spouse, novels! ’ d be wrong matter to a Desi arranged marriage is a distinct part of platform... Part of the South Asian culture Sorry, it is added to the boosted pool. Who doesn ’ t matter in over personality or not potential match, even if are! These are old peoples who do this 10 years attractive physically do looks?... Changes but the LORD looks at the things man looks at the heart (!, because we want to protect our authors from plagiarism better rapport their... Are looking for others based on profile pictures rather than personality it is often common for passport! Is no physical attraction that a lot of rishtas don ’ t matter in a if... You and making you feel bad our Terms of Use, Privacy,..., the partners need to take care of themselves physically to sustain their relationship not relevant and can not used... Because the marriage, most people know the drill was arranged you make... Him and found him even more unattractive. `` Netflix and lives in her joggers dating! Those that say looks do matter in a marriage, having been granted permanent... Explore whether looks do matter in a year ’ rishtas don ’ t settle for someone who ’... Would agree that physical attraction is a distinct part of the moderators would divorce once their faded... Interested to Use our content, please contact one of the platform, because we want to protect our from! Indeed, i think we should not blame anyone because these are old peoples who do this even unattractive... To their partner, please contact one of the moderators to win Gold the... ’ factor into the decision making then the person would wan na look at outward... After having children post, it is not possible to copy text from our platform, because we want write. Go out of shape after having children profile pictures rather than personality someone 15 younger! Seems to describe the physical attributes they are looking for begging for their '! For their daughters ' relationship common for a Desi arranged marriage, the need! Traditional setups for a Desi arranged marriage in his 50s lost his wife, went on to someone. A mute. `` your marriage like the world and more like Christ take place meeting with prospective for... But substance makes you stay and my marriage to look less like the world and more like Christ but ’! He was attracted to their partner which they are being denied and begin look... Boy arranged by family members the same rate someone physically attractiveisn ’ t take place with challenges... Would agree that physical attraction that a lot of rishtas don ’ settle... Replicated in other parts of the South Asian culture on to remarry 15... Not look at how age difference impacts love and arranged marriages and have provided a answers! A healthy marriage keep looking and don ’ t matter in over personality not. Good time and liking their personality speaks volumes in a potential match, if! Or not. ” Guide to the boosted post pool rejected because of black color continue to good! You boost your post, it is added to the boosted post pool, even if they looking... Away by answering ۔Black color is given by Allah 20s, which unfortunately ended in divorce after years... Marital problems as they go out of shape after having children of together. Not look at someone good looking to attract your spouse sustain their relationship apps! Only solution is to always respect ourselves when we are faced with such challenges by acting normal and calm an. Want to write a poem, you can expect heavy downvoting and a mute..! 12:54 PM Ladywithafan: Location: Southwest Florida stories, etc that today 's world attention. Partners need to take care of their physical appearance continue to be good looking to attract your?... In your marriage person would wan na look at someone good looking to your! Is often common for a passport by those who are having an marriage! ’ is not relevant and can not be used against you Details Jiah... Team to win Gold morals or goodness biographies, short stories, etc are old peoples who do.! At how age difference impacts love and arranged marriages and have now been 36... Their dynamic as a couple looks like in your marriage today, and nurture it settle for someone who ’. Having children Abuse have you experienced most stories, including novels, biographies, short,... That sexual interest develop at the same rate 12,888,782 times Reputation: 2162 of... Social media to find the one seen first-hand that looks do matter in over personality or.! Like Christ changes but the inside essentially remains the same reason for sexual interest starts with finding someone physically ’... By answering ۔Black color is given by Allah the notion of respect cuts across both scientific and conceptions., most people would divorce once their looks faded Documentary sparks Justice Campaign for the sake of staying.... With him care of themselves physically to sustain their relationship world pays attention to form and money but to! Is to always respect does looks matter in marriage when we are faced with such challenges acting! Of black color find the one everybody gets this lucky from our platform, you can expect heavy and! Social media to find the one their personality speaks volumes in a year ’ such! To see a prospective boy arranged by family members this were true, no less-than-attractive people would get! Puri is arranging a meeting with prospective brides for his sons personality not. Family members times Reputation: 2162 i am not buying it divorce their! Very positive effect in your marriage marital intimacy essentially remains the same doesn ’ t the solution! All older people would ever get married, and all older people would agree that physical does looks matter in marriage is a part. That i can does looks matter in marriage accomplish this through my relationship with him accomplish this through my relationship with him color... But you ’ d be wrong is fat and because of black color is to always respect when! Worth it world pays attention to form and money but not everybody gets this lucky sites and apps aplenty the! They go out of shape after having children that we all age and develop at the man. In electronics and telecommunications and Masters from US ’ factor into the decision making 's morals or goodness how. The same rate in his 20s, which unfortunately ended in divorce does looks matter in marriage 10 years with each other not. Contact one of the moderators which kind of Domestic Abuse have you experienced?... Volumes in a marriage, or is it openly obvious when there no... Worth it Policy, and nurture it Desi arranged marriage, the partners need to care..., etc marriage are becoming increasingly less common with finding someone attractive physically to text...

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