Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. You’ve had quite a time being Mayor haven’t you? In a few days Gavin Newsom will be running away to be Lieutenant Governor of California–Like it or not! I have to look back and think about what’s happened in the City since Gavin Newsom has been Mayor.
I know he’s done a lot, like the care not cash program, starting the gay and lesbian weddings, yelling at Muni. I’m sure there’s more, I just can’t think about it. I know that when I went down to the main library the other day I noticed the park wasn’t full of homeless people anymore. San Francisco has become a bit more pleasant to live in. OK, we still have a lot of crappy roadways and if you don’t believe me take a short trip back east [just not New York City] and you’ll find roads as smooth as glass.
Gavin Newsom did a few bad things, at least for a politician. He had an affair, had to go for alcohol addiction treatment, but he still managed to remain the Mayor. Most people would lose their jobs and get black listed if they admitted that and yes, that holds true for politicians as well. Yet he still won his race for Lieutenant Governor.
I think what I’m going to miss most is that he had the face for San Francisco, just like Willie Brown did. He was a politician in a big city, yet if you ran into him you could talk to him [which I got to do on two occasions]. He was like a rockstar Mayor, kind of bigger than life, but also like many other rockstars he had a bit of a dark side that would pop up. Will he ever live down the, “Like it or not!” comment about his authorizing gay marriages? That’s probably going to be like water off a duck’s back.
We have a few other people leaving office as well, but the only one who made anyone know he even existed was Chris Daly. Chris was the foul mouthed Supervisor with a love for dropping F-bombs during meetings of the Board of Supervisors, then pulls an “Ed Jew” and buy a house outside of San Francisco and moves in with his family all the while Ed Jew is still being talked about for being a Supervisor who doesn’t live in the City. Chris, thank you and good night. Now get the fuck out.
Supervisor Chris Daly has made a new year’s resolution to include the word f*ck in every meeting of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Such a noble venture for the most hated of all the Supervisors. He is antinomian to core. His job is just to anger people in this city by saying no to everything we say yes to and say yes to everything we say no to.
Chris serves the government less and himself more. Therefore it is at this time that announce, nay, I proclaim that I should replace Chris Daly as Supervisor of District 6! I have lived my life in San Francisco. In the Sunset District, The Mission District and Midtown Terrace. Chris Daly lives, just like Ed Jew, outside of San Francisco. He is the governing Supervisor over the Tenderloin and Treasure Island. My college thesis was on the construction of Treasure Island and I have visited it many times, probably more times than Chris f*cking Daly.
Being one of the few who was born and raised in San Francisco, I know San Francisco and you Chris Daly, are not San Francisco. I will serve this city as Supervisor as a true citizen of San Francisco, by helping to clean up the Tenderloin and create a new green community on Treasure Island by implementing the best plans that have been suggested as well as building concrete walls around the perimeter to keep the rising water from flooding our Treasured Island build in 1939 for the epic San Francisco world’s fair celebrating our city and the construction of the iconic Golden Gate Bridge.
I call upon our esteemed Mayor Newsom to hear my call and replace Chris f*cking Daly for a dereliction of duties as a Supervisor of San Francisco and for his misrepresenting our fine city to the world. He has no right to besmirch our image as the great city that we are with his foul mouthed antics and disregard for performing his job as a supervisor of this great city. I shall offer to meet Chris f*cking Daly in public debate and will offer my services to the community he presides over as well as offering to replace him for under 6 figures a year since no one in the district he presides over makes that much a year. I will also attend every Board of Supervisors meeting unlike most of the board and I will walk the streets of my district proudly meeting with those who live there other than during re-election time.
If this does not happen I will do as Emperor Norton once did and proclaim myself the royal sovereign of the Tenderloin and Treasure Island and make myself the Commander-in-Chief of the area to protect it from the pompous ways of its public enemy #1 Chris f*cking Daly!