Tempura Guy™ Strikes Back!

A long time ago in a Trader’s Joe’s far away…wait, nope scratch that, I mean the Trader Joe’s at Stonestown. I went in the other day because we had run out of…tempura shrimp. Alas there was nothing in the freezer case and I walked to the back to ask an employee if they had any in stock in the back. She rushes out to verify that I had just told her there is no tempura shrimp in the house. She then runs off to find a manager or someone to ask about when it will be coming in. I wait…

About five minutes later she comes back and informs me, Oh, we don’t have it because we’ve discontinued stocking it. WHAT?!?! Now if you remember back a few days you’ll remember that they had discontinued it, but at my request restocked it only to find out that it was selling and that they had sold out when I went back only to have the staff running around frantically to calm down Tempura Guy™ so that he would not level the store.

Well apparently I wasn’t scary enough the first time since this impish little waif did not fear The Wrath of Tempura Guy™. Tempura Guy™ goes into stealth mode and upon returning home visits the Trader Joe’s website and using the contact form sent a noted regarding the Stonestown Trader Joe’s that they had discontinued, then restocked, then discontinued again a produce in less than a month! Add major sabre rattling and huffing and puffing to the electronic correspondence and click submit.

Tempura Guy™ loves his keyboard lycanthropy and the power it brings him. Tempura Guy™ feels good about himself and his love of the holy tempura shrimp, hallowed be thy panko encrusted name. Then, it happens. The Darth Vader theme ringing from his iPhone alerts him to a phone call from Trader Joe’s. Tempura Guy™ answers and hears the voice of a stammering store manager apologizing profusely, something akin to…Lord Vader, we, I a mean…uhm, well…I am terribly sorry Tempura Guy™, I don’t know who told our crew member that, but they were terribly misinformed and we have two cases in the back to fulfill your needs and desires for tempura shrimp and we are stocking our freezer cases right now. Ok, that sounds a little creepy to me. I mean it’s not like I’m buying it for sexual gratification, I just like the taste of it. He really did use the words needs and desires.

So now I am off to Trader Joe’s where I will hear whispered conversations as I pass the crew members of, it’s Tempura Guy™ as the crew members step out of my way. I think I will add to the frivolity by asking to speak with the manager and shake his hand for coming through for me. If I had the time I would make some sort of stupid plaque that says something like, Tempura Guy™ blesses this Trader Joe’s.

Tempura Guy™ is happy now. Apologies to Lord Vader and Khan.



I Am Tempura Guy™!

I’d love to me known for the many things I’ve done. I wanted to be known as a great musician, but I was remembered for being the President of the San Francisco Aquarium Society. That wasn’t too bad because I got to be on television a few times, but what has happened over the passed two days is beyond me. I am now Tempura Guy™.

My wife and I visit the Trader Joe’s at Stonestown frequently. They have a tempura shrimp that is frozen and when you heat it up in the oven comes pretty close to beating Japanese restaurant tempura shrimp. One day we went to pick some up and they were out. I asked about it and was told that it wasn’t very popular so they discontinued it.

WHAT! In one of the largest Asian communities of San Francisco tempura shrimp wasn’t selling?!?! I immediately went to the Trader Joe’s website and sent them an email adding in a bit of saber rattling of how I would no longer be able to shop at Trader Joe’s in Stonestown and would have to move my business to the Westlake Trader Joe’s because they carry the tempura shrimp.

The next day I received an email from the manager of the Stonestown Trader Joe’s telling me how they welcome my business and that they would agree to stock tempura shrimp and it would be delivered on Tuesday. Well, I got held up a bit and didn’t get there until the Monday after the Tuesday only to find out that they were out of stock. I asked a girl about it and she said that it was probably discontinued because it wasn’t selling well. This was an Asian girl and I asked her if she ever tried it. She said, yeah, it was pretty good. Let me check with someone. She runs away and in a few minutes a manager comes out and hastily points to me and stammers out, you’re Tempura guy™.

Great, I’m Tempura Guy™. He then apologizes and tells me that he checked and there was an order arriving tonight that would be available on Tuesday. So Tuesday comes around and my wife says, hey Tempura Guy™ you want to run to Trader Joe’s and get dinner for tonight? Sure. I’m Tempura Guy™.

So off I go to Trader Joe’s and I check the case where they always have it and…it isn’t there. Trader Joe’s has angered Tempura Guy™ and he is displeased. I walk up to a worker in a Hawaiian shirt and tell my story. Half way into it he says, Tempura Guy™ and runs off to the back. He comes out sweating and stammering and says that they don’t have it in the back but wait, gimme a second and I’ll find it for you. He starts a frantic chase down the aisle and another worker says, can I help you find something and the other co-worker says tempura shrimp! The co-worker’s jaw drops and his finger points at me and he says, Tempura Guy™! It was right out of a Godzilla movie with the Japanese pointing to sky yelling GOJIRA! luckily they had moved it to a different location and I purchased two leaving only one left.

Tempura Guy™ is not pleased that they only ordered three tempura shrimp. Do not anger Tempura Guy™. You won’t like it when he’s angry.

Shrimp is good.