Author: Eric Kauschen

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I’m not sure I can hold out a week

OK, so today I was a little twitchy and bitchy because what I’ve had at my disposal was not my big beautiful 24″ iMac. I have a small MacBook that I appropriate from my wife which has me leaning over the keyboard staring into the tiny 14.4″ screen and the 21″ iMac at work that’s old, slow and like the MacBook, doesn’t have the 500w powered studio speakers to back it up.

This is giving me a feeling like switching from Marlboro cigarettes to Marlboro Ultra Lights. You’re getting something, but just not enough of what you want. This is like 3.2% beer in Minnesota compared a full flavored Boddington’s. It’s like a $2 hook…OK enough of the analogies. It’s just not the same, but I think I can hold out for the rest of the week.

I’ve been finding things to do that most computer geeks like me never think of. Like cleaning up around my “computer squat.” After the iMac was gone I realized how much dust had started to build up on the desk in places you don’t normally get to see when you’ve got a huge 24″ screen in your face. I started thinking, “Geez, this is a man cave…complete with all the dirt.” I actually found a glass from an indeterminant year hidden behind the hallowed place that my iMac once occupied that had the remains of some reddish liquid that could have been fruit juice, kool-aid or both plus of course lots of dust. Since I had the time on my hands it went up to the dishwasher quickly.

I’ve also noticed that there were lots of cords behind the computer that didn’t need to be there anymore because it turns out they hadn’t been hooked up to anything in probably a few years. Did these just grow out of the back of my computer in an attempt to ensnarl and engulf everything around it and turn it into a borg like creature? That would be a very scary thought…”I am Eric of iMac, resistance is futile.”

Oh crap, I’m making Star Trek references now. [Note to self: GET A LIFE!]

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Hi I’m Eric and I’m a Mac Addict

Yes, I admit it. I have an addiction to my iMac. I’m not going to go all Mac is better than PC thing because it would probably be the same if I had a PC and it was suddenly gone. I noticed something was wrong with the computer when it started to get really slow and programs started to hang. I took it into the Apple store and they said they could see the drive, but I should back it up and bring it in for a replacement of the hard drive.

YIKES! I hadn’t been able to do a time machine back up since April 11th and realized that I might end up loosing some stuff so I took it home, loaded snow leopard on to an external I happened to have lying around [this is why you have externals lying around]. After three days I managed to get all the files off the computer and realized, “Hey, if it’s cleaned off maybe I can just erase and reinstall from the back up!”

Well, it started off fine, but eventually it showed me that the entire hard drive was screwed and I’d need to bring it in. Now this isn’t so bad because at least my wife has a MacBook with an account on it for me [this is why you have more than one mac], but she might want to use the computer at the same time I’m using the computer. So hear in is the beginning of my week without my own computer. The iMac is like my buddy. It does everything for me. It’s my recording studio, it’s a phone, TV, radio,,,Geez our lives can revolve around our computers and you don’t realize it until they’re gone. My wife didn’t realize what the 21st century was like until I got her the MacBook that I have know stolen from her possession to post this article.

I have an iMac at work, but it’s not mine and while it acts like my buddy [due to the syncing of my information between computers] it’s also a lot of other people’s buddies because there are like 10 accounts on it. This is the closest to my buddy that I’ll have. It’s kind of like having a threesome with your wife, only a computer is involved and not some blond cheerleader with that waka waka funk music playing in the background.

Apple tells me it will be a week to replace the drive because they’re all backed up at the store. This is something I’ve always noticed about Apple Stores. If you go to a mall, look at how many people are in the other stores, then look at how many people are in the Apple Store. The Apple Stores are always packed. It’s like the hottest club in town without a happy hour. So now with my luck I’ll be a week without the iMac and Apple will suddenly process my order for my new iPhone 4 and get it to me before the iMac is back in action [yeeee=ah beeaches!]

P.S. to Apple: I heard your conference on Friday and know the problem is fixed with the iPhone 4 so can you speed up the 3 week wait a bit?

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iPhucked…by the “wertsgeflauben”

What the hell did he just say? Wertsgeflauben. It’s a word I just made up and there’s a good reason for it. It’s a word you use when you want to tell people something that you don’t want them to understand. Weird things like this pop into my head at times, not like visions of Kathy Bates riding naked on a donkey singing Sondheim tunes [oh wait, where the hell did that come from?] While it sounds German, I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything in German. It’s just some stupid nonsensical word like “unbundled” which is what Apple is using instead of “discount”. I started my new job today with a tech company that writes apps for the iPhone. I figured I should probably get one so I started to look into it. I’m looking at the new iPhone 4 and running through choices and decide to select 16Gb black iPhone 4 [oooo all you mac groupies dontcha just wish you were hot like me!] I start through the process and it says $199 with a little 2 superscript next to it which I should have realized meant scroll to the bottom and read the fine print. Here’s the fine print:

Requires new two-year AT&T wireless service contract, sold separately to qualified customers; credit check required; must be 18 or older. Existing AT&T customers who want to upgrade from another phone or replace an iPhone 3G or iPhone 3GS should check with AT&T or use www.apple.com/iphone/buy. For those who are not eligible for an early upgrade or who wish to buy iPhone as a gift, the prices are $499 (8GB), $599 (16GB), or $699 (32GB). In CA, MA, and RI, sales tax is collected on the unbundled price of iPhone. Service may not be available in all areas or at the signal strength, rates, speeds, or bandwidth as demonstrated. Wi-Fi Internet access required for some features; broadband recommended; fees may apply. Some applications, features, and services are not available in all areas. Visit www.wireless.att.com to check AT&T network coverage in your area. iPhone is configured to work only with wireless service provided by AT&T. Warranty information available at www.apple.com/legal/warranty/iphone. When available, transferring your mobile number to a different service provider will terminate your service with your existing provider; termination fees and other charges may apply. Some features may require added fees. Contact your service provider for more details. Use constitutes acceptance of Apple’s software license agreement and third-party terms located in the iPhone box. Unauthorized modification of your iPhone software violates the software license agreement. Inability to use an iPhone due to unauthorized modifications is not covered under your warranty.

OK, that shouldn’t have been a big deal because I noted that I was upgrading [after my two year contract ran out] so this shouldn’t matter. So this phony surcharge shouldn’t apply. When I put in my zip code they tell me that my tax is $56.12!!!! That works out to about 28% sales tax and I quickly clicked on the speak with a representative button and all that Coreen could tell me was that it was because it was “unbundled” and they had to charge the full price. She never told me what the full price was or how I could bundle it with something else so that I could pay only $17 [state tax] or $18 [San Francisco tax]. She just kept telling me that it was because of Uncle Sam that I had to pay that much. Which I suppose Uncle Sam is going senile and forgot that California sales tax is 8.5% and in SF it’s 9.5%. I finally told her thank you for being so unhelpful and closed the window and picked up the phone and called Apple. This time I got Ryan who sounded a bit more American than the person I had been typing with since his grammar was much better and he finally told me that “unbundled” meant “discount” after I told him that nowhere on the page does it say that $199 is the discounted price. This came after 5 minutes of him trying to get around me asking him what I could “bundle” it with to reduce the tax. I finally said, “Ah so you’re saying ‘unbundled’ when you really mean ‘discounted’. Ryan politely said yes, very softly because I think he realized what a scam it sounded like.

The worst part of all of this is that I’ve been an evangelist for the Apple line for over 20 years. I even gave Steve Jobs a selling point when I said in my previous blog From where I sit, “Apple Macintosh, it just works” long before they used it for their ads. I even said he could use it if he’d give me the choice of Apple products each year. He never returned my email by the way. I’ve gotten quite a few PC people to convert over to the Mac and they love it and they’ve thanked me for making their life easier.

So now let us all embrace the word that means nothing and everything, “Wertsgeflauben.” It will save you money and get you out of a bind. Didn’t get the work done that your boss asked you to? It was because of the wertsgeflauben. Can’t pay your bills? It’s because of the wertsgeflauben. What was that sound? The WERTSGEFLAUBEN! Geez, I think I’ll start writing Dr. Seuss style books now. I have created a monster.

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Hi, I’m Eric and I’m a Fish Geek

Welcome to the first meeting of fish geeks anonymous. I’ve been keeping fish for over 30 years as pets and as decorative accessories to add a little umph to my dwellings. At the worst I had over 11 fish tanks in my home. Then I kicked the habit for the most part, but held onto my 55 gallon fish tank. I’ve had freshwater, saltwater, brackish water fish tanks. It became a bit of an addiction for awhile.

It got so bad that I became the President of the San Francisco Aquarium Society where I was on the Board of Directors for 10 years and served as President for 4 years. Not something many other fish geeks can claim. I thought I had gotten over the whole fish thing and then I was looking around through my book collection and found a book long forgotten, “Breeding Killifish”. You notice it wasn’t titled “Raising Killifish”. What’s a killifish you might ask? Well the picture along with this post is of a killifish. This is a killifish that when I first saw it I wanted it big time, but no one had it. It doesn’t have a common name like many killifish, but it has a scientific name of Aphysemion elberti “Bafoussum”. The Bafoussum part means it’s from a part of Africa called Bafoussum. Killifish are interesting fish. They’re the most colorful fish in freshwater and give many of the saltwater fish a run for their money. They’re easy to care for, don’t need a heater unless you might live in Alaska and they breed like teenagers in heat [i.e. daily]. They have somewhat hard eggs that if you build a little mop out of knitting yarn they’ll lay eggs daily that you can pick off with your finger and drop in something as simple as a baby food jar with some water and they’ll hatch in 2-3 weeks. These are the top spawners I like. There are bottom spawners that  lay their eggs in peat moss [in an aquarium] or mud [in the wild]. I don’t like the bottom spawners as much because I’m an impatient type of guy and don’t like to wait 6 months for the babies to hatch out.

I have searched for over 20 years for this species of fish and today I finally met up with my new bestest buddy in the killifish world Ryan Grisso who gave me a pair and insisted that he wouldn’t take a cent for them. Ryan is a member of the Bay Area Killifish Association and these guys are serious about killies. These guys breed killies from all over the world and trade and sell them at their meetings. One of the few things I’ve never seen someone with killifish do is set up a nice planted tank filled with these fish. I had a friend once who was big into them and brought me over 100 of them for my 55 gallon tank and told me to feed them every time I passed the tank. The fish tank was the focus of the Christmas party I had that year. People didn’t know how colorful these fish were, how easy they were to take care of and how you can keep making more of them.

Most killifish come from water that isn’t that great in dissolved oxygen so they’re used to doing odd things like jumping out of the water and living the wet grass next to the water. The bottom spawners tend to be like a phoenix in that they breed in puddles that dry up and then when the rains come later on in the year they’re reborn again.  I’ve never heard of a fish that lives in conditions like that.

Now before you get all excited and are going to run out and get some of these fish you have to remember one thing. Normal pet stores won’t carry them. Probably because the wholesalers don’t carry them and also because they’re so colorful people think they’re tropical fish and keep them in warm water and they die. There are a few stores in San Francisco that will occasionally have some, but that’s nothing compared to the mollies, swordtails, guppies and neons that are standard fair in most fish stores. Killies are a rare treat as they’re easier to keep than goldfish [they’re smaller so they don’t poop as much]. You can actually send them across the country via priority mail and they’ll get their alive. They don’t need a lot of maintenance and for the most part they will live fine on flake and freeze dried food. So tell your fish store that you want killifish so that they start carrying them or if they don’t contact me. If you need more info on them drop killifish into google and see what pops up. It will boggle your mind.

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What the HELL happened to radio?!?!?

My wife and I have been having trouble with radio in the car. We’ve got three stations we hop between and can’t really figure out which one to stay with. Here’s our choices:

  1. 107.7 The Bone: The all Metallica, AC/DC, ZZ-Top station and if you listen long enough you might hear some else, like Led Zeppelin or George Thorogood.
  2. Live 105: We’re Modern Rock. We don’t know what the hell we’re playing, but we have lots of emo sounding crap that we mix in with old rap and here’s an AC/DC song for you!
  3. The Band 103: OK, we admit it we’re old enough to admit we’re old and listen to classic rock, oh, here’s an AC/DC tune for you!

ACK! It’s bad enough that the top radio station in the city by the bay has always been an AM talk radio station, but COME ON! This was the center  of the summer of love bands in the late 60’s, in the 80’s we were thrash central and the music stations were all very defined. I think I’ll have to blame it on grunge music from the 90’s.

When grunge came out the hard rock stations like 107.7 said, well, we’ll have to adapt and there’s distortion on the guitars so we’ll live with that. Then Live 105 must have said, well, we don’t have new wave anymore and it’s quickly becoming old wave so I guess we’ll mix in some grunge. The band doesn’t really count because they just showed up one day with, hi we’re going to copy you, but with a softer hand. We’ll focus on Bryan Adams and John Cougar (Mellencamp half decaf latte with soy milk). Oh and here’s an AC/DC tune!

When I have to listen to radio on the internet to hear new bands or even to find out that old bands I liked are still around is ridiculous. We’ve already seen the music business going to hell in a hand basket quick style and I guess that means radio has to follow along. I worked for two local radio stations in the early 80’s and both of them could define their music style in a sentence, KFRC was “Top 40”. You knew what that meant. K101 was “Love songs, nothing but love songs.” Well, until people realized that wasn’t going to sell, but at least it was defined. Now if I could figure out how to stream internet radio in my car I’d be fine because for most of them there’s no bottom line, it’s only that they love the music they’re playing. I wish I could say the same for commercial radio here in SF.

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I’ve got a job!

Yes, the economy sucks in San Francisco, but I have just confirmed that I now have a job starting this Monday so food will be going on the table again and bills will be paid! YAY!!!!!

What kind of job you ask? Well, I’m not going to say as I haven’t signed any paper work and I’m sure that it’s going to involve all those non-disclosure acts, but this is a very cool company and I’ll be able to do a lot of work from home. I like this because when I used to see all these salaried employees who’d come in at 10 am then leave at 2 pm I always wanted that kind of job. When I did get a salaried position it usually meant I’d be getting called up at all hours of the day and night to come back in to fix a problem that they usually had figured out how to fix by the time I got dressed and got to work.

Not in this case. If they need something done at 10 pm, no problem. I’m at home and can handle it from here. If they need something done on the weekend I’m probably home and can do it from here [geez, maybe I need to get out of the house more.]

What I can tell you is that if you’re on the hip and cool group of mobile warriors you might be hearing some of voice and audio work in the near future. I’ll just leave it at that for now and maybe I can negotiate an iPhone in as a signing bonus. 😉

Oh, and just a last note in case you didn’t know I will not be working for tickles. I just thought that was a funny picture to add in because I’m happy to be working again.

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The Outside Lands

I guess I’ve finally reached that age when you’re talking about San Francisco and your sentences end up starting with, “Why back when I was a kid…”. I’m one of a rare breed of San Franciscans. I was born here, lived here all my life and I’m back living in the 1953 year old house that my parents bought for a mere $18.1k in 1954.

I don’t think there’s more than a handful of people who can say that because most of those people have moved out of San Francisco because they could get a lot of money and live better somewhere else. Me, I like living in the the Outside Lands (Sunset District). This area got its name because it was outside the hustle and bustle of downtown. We’re like the suburbs of San Francisco, but we still get to be in San Francisco. How good is that?

As we all should know San Francisco started as a shipping port in what is now downtown. It grew out and around Twin Peaks to the Mission District and then down to the ocean then started to move North to fill up “the outside lands.” Back then the builder’s who were putting up the houses didn’t exactly do so in an orderly fashion. When my parents moved in their backyard  was literally sand. My Dad could jump the back fence into a sand dune. He’d give my Mom’s dog a Topper a toss over the little fence that was anywhere between 1ft and 5 ft depending on how much sand had blow in and take the dog for a run. There weren’t any streets below the house back then so there wasn’t any problem with him being hit by a car unless he decided to run a mile down to the beach.

My parents had to take dirt from their friends yards outside the city and bring it back to actually have dirt in their backyard. These were the days before you could run out to Home Depot and buy bags of dirt. They’d haul the dirt back in their old 1962 baby blue Ford station wagon and haul it out back dumping it out while pushing back the sand. Times where different back then and kind of odd, like:

  1. You only needed to speak English.
    We didn’t have people here that spoke any other language.  The only place you needed to speak Spanish was in the Mission or Chinese was in Chinatown. Now I need to know some Spanish and Mandarin to get buy sometimes and seeing a white boy like me speaking Mandarin freaks some people out still.
  2. Everyone from south of California was “Mexican”
    For the most part at least. I had a best friend who’s Mother was from El Salvador, but they just laughed and accepted being called Mexicans because it was easier than fighting it. Oh, and they spoke English only.
  3. Italian food was ethnic food.
    OK, there was also Mexican and Chinese, but we didn’t have the variety we have now. Not until Spaghetti-O’s came out did Italian hit the main stream. My Grandmother used to make her own bolognese sauce by the gallons and store it in used 1/2 gallon milk cartons in our freezer downstairs. My family came from the Marina District so they’d always go to Lucca’s delicatessen to get their fresh pasta and raviolis, but the sauce was always my Grandmother’s and even after moving to the outside lands we would still go back to Lucca’s for the pasta. None of my friends growing up knew what pesto was and when they saw it, ewww gross was the first reaction.
  4. If you lived below 44th Avenue and parked your car on the street it would be rusted out in a few years.
    I don’t know why, but back then the salt air would destroy cars. I think part of it was also due to all the sand blowing around that would literally sand the finish off your car.
  5. Everyone knew their neighbors.
    It was just a given. We’d borrow from each other. Help each other out with house fix ups. Hell our old next door neighbor and Dad terrace both their gardens together, shingled the backs of the houses facing the ocean and would help each other out when they needed cabinets refinished. After my mom recently died we had new neighbors move in next door to us and that was probably the first time in 15 years that we’ve had neighbors that said hello.
  6. We were more ethnically diverse.
    Back when I was in school…oh god there I go…We had Irish kids who were from Ireland, German, French, Italian, Scottish, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Filipino, Hawaiian, “Mexican”, Black (Well that was only one girl and her name was Barbara McNair, which you might have to look up to find the humor in that.) The difference was that we didn’t have fast food back then, so they had their own ethnic dishes they ate and shared with their neighbors. Now we’re mostly Asian (with the largest of that being Chinese). Nothing disrespectful meant there, I’m just not sure whether they’re speaking Cantonese or Mandarin so I don’t want to make a mistake and say something that comes out the equivalent to, “Hello, my ferret has just exploded.”

I could probably go on with lots more stuff, but I don’t want to build up too much “Sunset Redneck” cred. I’m not saying that the old days were better, just that some of the things were nice to be able to rely on. I won’t turn down all the advances we’ve had  in the Outside Lands. The fact that just about any countries food is within a 5 minute drive out here is great. People are getting friendlier, which I’m still getting used to when I walk into a shop and they call me by my name. Maybe they’re following me on Twitter or checking out my facebook page? I do miss driving through the sand dunes that were left with my neighbor’s son who owned a dune buggy. How cool could that have been when you were 10? It’s just kind of fun to look back at how much life has changed around here sometimes.

Oh and by the way, that picture is of the Parkside school that’s at 27th and Vicente and is now know as the Diane Feinstein Public Elementary.

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Keeping your kid happy on a long weekend

Well, I already spoke about the SF Zoo. On Sunday we decided to take the plunge and use our membership at the Aquarium, or California Academy of Sciences. There’s more than the aquarium, but that’s the biggest attraction, so we just like to call it “the Aquarium“. When you’re a member you get to go during the special “members hours” that is 8:30-9:00 on Tuesdays and 10:00am-11:00am on Sundays. Since getting up and out the door on Sundays for the 10 am opening is easier we decided on that.

What we discovered about going to the Aquarium on 4th of July was that everyone had somewhere else to be. It was great. There were only two other families in the Aquarium for about the first half hour and we had the place to ourselves. We actually got to see things without having to push or be pushed by other people there.

When we headed up to see what was not “the Aquarium” we got to walk through their new extreme mammals exhibit which was small, but fun. I used to spend a lot of my time as a kid there so I thought I had seen everything, but they found a few things to display that even had me saying, “what the heck is that?”

As we toured around the rest of the “not the Aquarium” we noticed some new exhibits were in place or maybe they had been there, but we couldn’t see them for the throngs of people pushing by us. They were kind of interesting, but nothing in the blow you away sort of style. In some ways I miss the old Academy of Sciences because it was separated into labyrinthine hallways they forced you to focus on the exhibits. Now it’s all open and airy which is the design style of the day, but it also makes it harder to focus in my humble opinion. It’s still got a lot going on, it just doesn’t seem as much as before.

Now finding that our daughter (she’s 3, but the size of a 6 year old) still had some energy left in her that she needed to disperse we went over to Early Explorers Cove which means essentially that it’s an indoor play area. It’s a cool indoor play area with a boat mock up and a little treehouse like area that kids and climb all over and inside of. There’s puzzles to do  and puppets and toys to play with, just remember to remove your shoes when you go in. Since everybody was somewhere else we practically had the place to ourselves which was good because our daughter doesn’t do well in big crowds.

Once she was worn down we decided to splurge and visit the Academy Cafe. It’s a bit pricey, but the food is of the total eco-friendly locavore style. We got a brownie for my wife, a cookie for our daughter, chocolate bread pudding for myself, a coffee and a Virgil’s Blackberry Cream Soda. Total came to  close to $13. A bit steep, but the food was really good.

As things were winding down we decided to leave and it was a little after 11 am. Now what were we going to do for the rest of the day? Luckily on the drive home my wife received a phone call from a friend who was coming to the city and wanted to get together at a playground later in the day. GREAT! We now had our whole day planned out with very little effort.

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San Francisco Zoo: Part 2

So today we went to the SF Zoo again today and we actually bought a membership so we’ll have another place to take our daughter on a whim. Above is a little video I shot and by little I do mean little. I used a cheap pocket camera then put it all together in iMovie and added the voiceover and music in Digital Performer for all you geeks out there. Well it was warm and crowded, but being so huge we were still able to get around fairly easily. The problem with the zoo covers many areas:

1. Too many exhibits that have are being reworked and haven’t been open in years. The Tropical rain forest has been closed for at least a year, the area with the sea lions has been gone for almost 10 years if not longer and there are areas like the pachyderm house which has been closed for years and that side across from the lion house is empty. The lion house has been closed for a few years, but at least they still have a few lions and tigers.

2. Because of 1. there’s too much walking time between seeing animals and that’s not because they have So much space for the animals, it’s that there’s just so much overused space that has a couple of ducks swimming around. There are several areas of the Primate exhibit that are covered over with cardboard that it looks like tenement housing for monkeys.

3. There is no elephant train anymore. The zoo is a big place and the elephant train used to take visitors around the zoo for a full tour. Now that it’s gone even a fit person (unless they’re a marathon runner from Kenya) will break out in a sweat and get tired quick.

4. FOOD. OK, I like the idea that they’re selling organic food that’s local raised, but $8.99 for an Angus cheeseburger with fries that was cooked how long ago and is now sitting in the warming booth does not a good burger make. After standing in line for 10 minutes our daughter tired of smelling food and not having any to eat started to have a fit. This led us to decide that we had had enough and left after a half hour.

5. Repave the walk ways. When you come in the place is easy to get around it’s all nice and new, but after about 100 yards you hit asphalt that hasn’t been paved in over 10 years. If you’re a parent with a stroller or in a wheelchair it becomes an extra work out to trudge along.

Now my wife thinks it’s all about them not having enough money, but with a $95/year family membership and all the regular money coming in from non-members plus food, plus donors, plus the kitschy stuff they sell at over priced prices I think they could do a little upkeep on the place.

We’ll still continue to go, but I’m hoping this post will get their attention and wake them the hell up.

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Shhh…Don’t tell everyone.

I just found out recently that the San Francisco Public Library has a cool offering for parents. It’s a free pass to any one of a huge number of places to go in San Francisco like The Aquarium of the Bay, California Academy of Sciences, Cartoon Art Museum, California Historical Society, Exploratorium, The Walt Disney Museum and much, much more.

Now some of these places would cost you over $50 to take your family, but with your library card you just clic on the logo to the right and it’ll take you to the sfkids.org website where you can ask for the pass. You then go to the local branch and pick it up and you’re set. When you’re done you just return the pass card to any library.

We all know that times are tough and when you have kids it costs big bucks to entertain them. These free passes are a little known fact that I just came across when my wife and I visited the main library and now you can access everything to get you to these places online and remember…it’s free!