Tag: bisexual

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Morrissey Elected As Egypt’s LGBT President

I have been sick for the last week with a cold, but I don’t turn into the typical whiney bitch that most guys do with a cold, I turn into more of a zombie. Add to this that I have to get up at 6:20am to get my daughter out the door to school only makes it worse. So I hear things wrong. There’s a lot going on in San Francisco that I want to write about, but I’ve been having a bit of trouble keeping my thoughts straight. So what have I learned this past week after being in a fog without the help of any drugs?

1. Morrissey was elected as Egypt’s President: Well, I never liked his hair style or music, but I suppose they could have done a lot worse. I never knew the Brit was an Islamic extremist. You wouldn’t know from looking at him.

2. San Francisco had a really Gay White Pride parade. I guess I’ll spend a little more time on this because that was an actual twitter post I saw this weekend. It seemed funny until I actually saw footage of the parade. Even the non-White people in the parade looked White. Wille Brown was the most ethnic of all in a raisin in a glass of milk kind of way driving by in an old yellow cadillac convertible. The most diversity I saw was in a shot from a group holding up #OCCUPYPRIDE signs which i couldn’t figure out. The whole occupy [insert large corporation here] has become kind of meaningless when bringing down the man means bring down the man on man relationships. Yet there were tons of gay people there cheering them on. I guess they wanted to be occupied if you know what I mean and I think you do.

The trannies and drag queens did such a good job because I actually thought they were women. I had to look up Carmen Carrera after watching her drive by to realize that she actually was a man. I was trying to figure out how a nice straight looking couple with a daughter driving by fit in with Gay Pride and had to use google to find out they weren’t a straight couple. Science has definitely taken a step forward for the cross dressers and transgendered community. Similarly the Dykes on Bikes that start the parade looked butcher than many Hell’s Angels I’ve seen.

Sarah Silverman was also on hand because she can’t do a stand up routine without making a butt joke, so that must have been her tie in with gay pride. I have many friends that are gay, but I’ve never attended one of the parades. I don’t do well in overly crowded places and I probably wouldn’t do well in places that were overly crowded with fabulous people. Besides that I wouldn’t want to be spreading my cold around. I do want to go one day and take my daughter and wife just to see how many of our friends we’ll see. The problem I’m seeing from the footage is that the rainbow flag got dropped in bleach somewhere down the line.

Gay pride has become rather homogenized like milk, which is white. I was attacked for my article on why people hate the Marina by someone who said it’s too white. Well, it’s not too white, but it’s very Americanized. Too white is what I was seeing at the Gay Pride Parade. When Mayor Lee walks with the Golden State Warriors and all you see are bunch of tall white guys walking with a short Asian mayor something’s not right. A basketball team and there isn’t a single brother to be seen? Oh wait there’s the police driving by and waving and hey, there’s a person of color waving…from the back of the police car.

The you had the tag alongs and I’m not speaking about the Filipino language [inside joke], but the groups that really didn’t have anything to do with Gay Pride, like  the ACLU and Immigrants rights. Sure I bet there are some who are gay, but the whole parade is about celebrating being gay. Not about unions [which the last time they had a parade I believe the police were envolved and it wasn’t pretty] or letting immigrants into San Francisco [which is a standard practice depending on where you walk in the city]. Sarah Silverman was quoted as saying she supports pride day because it’s about being bad for a day. Uhm, OK, now it’s just pride day and not about gay pride? Hell Muni did it better by having all the busses displaying EQUALITY FOR ALL over the weekend.

I’m totally in favor of legalized gay marriage because with disposable income San Francisco’s Wedding planners would make tons of money. I honestly don’t care what type of person you’re attracted to. It’s not what’s between your legs, but what’s in your head. My head still isn’t right after being sick for a week, but at least I survived my zombie apocalypse without eating anyones face off. So I apologize if this story sounds like I was rambling, because I am.

And to finish off, Morrissey is gayer than the Gay Pride parade.

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Why There Will Never Be A Straight Pride Day

The city of San Francisco had a fabulous weekend of marches and parades. There was the transexual march on Saturday along with the Dykes on Bikes drive from Dolores Park and of course the Gay Pride Parade. The city this weekend was FAB-U-LOUS! This brought a thought to my mind. Why is there no Straight Pride Parade?

Several years ago on a mailing list of people I went to high school with there a couple of somewhat homophobic people who protested that homosexuals shouldn’t have a day to celebrate. This was hit with a gay friend of mine saying that heteros get to celebrate every day. Hmmmm, not exactly was my first thought. about the only way heteros get to celebrate is by the guys going to a strip club and dropping money on girls who take their clothes off and simulate girl on girl activities, oh wait that’s straight guys watching mock lesbians. Wait, we see that at the gay pride events every year, it’s just that the guys aren’t paying.

Well, the  straight guys could all collect themselves on a float with their penii hanging out pointing at them and screaming, for women only! but you have to admit a bunch of guys standing together on a float with their penii hanging out looks a little, well, gay. Women could collect half naked on a float writhing around at which point the guys would be screaming once again for girl/girl action which of course would put them in the lesbian category.

The whole pride thing started out to celebrate the fact that there’s nothing wrong with being homosexual, then the bisexuals were added in, then the transgenders hopped aboard which some of them while being once male or female have switched sex might now be attracted to the opposite of their new sexual orientation making them technically straight, or if they are attracted to the same as their new sex would make them gay, but since they were once the opposite sex makes them kind of straight, so…did I loose anyone here?

Pride day, which has turned into pride month pretty much celebrates an act against normalcy. Normalcy is something you can’t celebrate because it’s, well, kind of boring. We don’t even have a good line we could chant in a parade. We’re here we’re straight we pay our bills, uhm, you know we’re normal doesn’t go over too well. Celebrations need a bit of antinomianism to them to be fun. You’ve got to do something a bit naughty to enjoy yourself. Normal people aren’t very naughty. Our former Governor cheats on his wife and has a love child BOR-ING. That is so 10 minutes ago it’s not even in the local papers anymore. The only way a politician can get more publicity is by soliciting a homosexual encounter in an airport bathroom or by sexting pictures of what might be his engorged penis to underaged girls [that’s straight, but wrong right?]

I did a search this morning for straight pride and was surprised by what it turned up. Most of the small group of people who celebrate straight pride do so by speaking out that homosexuality is an abomination of nature. OK, so if everyone was heterosexual you’d have nothing to speak up about. Well, that’s a definite party buzz kill. I couldn’t find anything that these groups could put a finger on to give them something to celebrate for being straight.

So with that being said, I wish all my non-breeder, non-Mormon, non-no sex having people my hopes that you had a wonderful weekend. Now I’m off to iTunes to gift I kissed a girl by Katy Perry to Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney. Be Fab-U-Lous everyone.

 

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Only in San Francisco: Kink.com

I suppose I have to start this off by quoting Milton Berle, “Sex is only dirty when it’s done right.” Yes, San Francisco has been a city of sin long before there was a place called Las Vegas and let’s face it we do it right. My mother used to tell me about private gay clubs where the patrons would dress up as men and women irregardless of their sex to look like normal “straight” couples walking into a nightclub, but when the doors closed the rules where gone.

Seeing that my mother wasn’t gay, nor has she ever been to a gay nightclub I suppose this was all from, a friend of a friend of a friend information. So now we have an internet company located in the old San Francisco Armory that produces fetish porn for the internet that has become almost mainstream. So much so that when people are pointing their fingers at what’s causing all the problems in San Francisco I never hear kink.com come up. Peter Actworth, a Brit who moved to San Francisco in 1998 is behind it all. That’s him in the picture to the left.

He apparently found out that someone had made £250,000 from an internet porn website so he thought he’d have a go at it in San Francisco. He used craigslist to recruit models who didn’t mind make a decent living by being flogged, spanked or some other form of “punishment” for the entertainment of others. The Armory was purchased by kink.com in 2006 and while it go some opposition, well, sex sells and they won out.

[mappress mapid=”37″]I admit, I have done a little bit of “research” at kink.com to get a better understanding of what they’re about, but seeing as how there hasn’t been one complaint against them by any of the hired models that are in the police reports I figure everything that’s going on is done by consenting adults. Now I will tell you that this site is not for the faint of heart. There are men and women having things done to them that will astound, horrify and to others titillate their senses. [Oh, I’m a naughty boy, I said titillate!]

The funniest thing to me is that there isn’t more controversy over the site. They are expected to make an appearance at every Folsom Street Fair where the leather and stud crowd comes out to show off. With their myriad of websites under the kink.com umbrella they’re sort of like corporate fetish porn. They aren’t tolerated, but accepted. Now you have to admit, that a company called kink.com being accepted in San Francisco is well, so San Francisco!




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San Francisco: Not so gay anymore.

Apparently, according to the Advocate, the news source for the LGBT community, San Francisco isn’t so gay anymore. As a matter of fact we’re down at #11. How could that be?

“For each city, The Advocate added up numbers for Gay.com profiles, listed officiants for gay weddings within a 50-mile radius, openly gay elected officials, performances by lesbian sisters musical duo Tegan and Sara over the past five years, lesbian bars, gay and gay-friendly religious congregations and entries in YellowPages.com with “gay” in the business name or description.”

So it was just a little number crunching that took us off the list.. Well, that’s fine by me because people who are in LGBT community have been cited as the leading cause of all the problems we have in San Francisco. Now we can just say, “Nope” and point to…wait for it…Minneapolis, Minnesota is the gayest town in the US. Here’s the article at advocate.com says explains it all. Apparently last year we didn’t even make the list and Atlanta was on top.

[mappress mapid=”3″]This should come as good news to Rev. Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas better known as “GodHatesFags.com” because he and his buddies will have less of drive for the protesting and picketing. There’ll be less reason for him to come to California and save a dime or two. Good for him and good for us. So what is the overall ranking on “gayness”?

Here’s the list:

1. Minneapolis, Minnesota
2. Santa Fe, New Mexico
3. Las Vegas, Nevada
4. Orlando, Florida
5. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
6. Vancouver, Washington
7. Atlanta, Georgia
8. Washington, D.C.
9. Seattle, Washington
10. St. Louis, Missouri
11. San Francisco, California
12. Cleveland, Ohio
13. Denver, Colorado
14. Oakland, California
15. Miami, Florida

Miami is last on the list? ¡Ay Papi! What about South Beach? No Los Angeles or New York? How can this be? Are the members of the LGBT community going to the suburbs?

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Goodbye to Gavin!

Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. You’ve had quite a time being Mayor haven’t you? In a few days Gavin Newsom will be running away to be Lieutenant Governor of California–Like it or not! I have to look back and think about what’s happened in the City since Gavin Newsom has been Mayor.

I know he’s done a lot, like the care not cash program, starting the gay and lesbian weddings, yelling at Muni. I’m sure there’s more, I just can’t think about it. I know that when I went down to the main library the other day I noticed the park wasn’t full of homeless people anymore. San Francisco has become a bit more pleasant to live in. OK, we still have a lot of crappy roadways and if you don’t believe me take a short trip back east [just not New York City] and you’ll find roads as smooth as glass.

Gavin Newsom did a few bad things, at least for a politician. He had an affair, had to go for alcohol addiction treatment, but he still managed to remain the Mayor. Most people would lose their jobs and get black listed if they admitted that and yes, that holds true for politicians as well. Yet he still won his race for Lieutenant Governor.

I think what I’m going to miss most is that he had the face for San Francisco, just like Willie Brown did. He was a politician in a big city, yet if you ran into him you could talk to him [which I got to do on two occasions]. He was like a rockstar Mayor, kind of bigger than life, but also like many other rockstars he had a bit of a dark side that would pop up. Will he ever live down the, “Like it or not!” comment about his authorizing gay marriages? That’s probably going to be like water off a duck’s back.

We have a few other people leaving office as well, but the only one who made anyone know he even existed was Chris Daly. Chris was the foul mouthed Supervisor with a love for dropping F-bombs during meetings of the Board of Supervisors, then pulls an “Ed Jew” and buy a house outside of San Francisco and moves in with his family all the while Ed Jew is still being talked about for being a Supervisor who doesn’t live in the City. Chris, thank you and good night. Now get the fuck out.