Morrissey Elected As Egypt’s LGBT President

I have been sick for the last week with a cold, but I don’t turn into the typical whiney bitch that most guys do with a cold, I turn into more of a zombie. Add to this that I have to get up at 6:20am to get my daughter out the door to school only makes it worse. So I hear things wrong. There’s a lot going on in San Francisco that I want to write about, but I’ve been having a bit of trouble keeping my thoughts straight. So what have I learned this past week after being in a fog without the help of any drugs?

1. Morrissey was elected as Egypt’s President: Well, I never liked his hair style or music, but I suppose they could have done a lot worse. I never knew the Brit was an Islamic extremist. You wouldn’t know from looking at him.

2. San Francisco had a really Gay White Pride parade. I guess I’ll spend a little more time on this because that was an actual twitter post I saw this weekend. It seemed funny until I actually saw footage of the parade. Even the non-White people in the parade looked White. Wille Brown was the most ethnic of all in a raisin in a glass of milk kind of way driving by in an old yellow cadillac convertible. The most diversity I saw was in a shot from a group holding up #OCCUPYPRIDE signs which i couldn’t figure out. The whole occupy [insert large corporation here] has become kind of meaningless when bringing down the man means bring down the man on man relationships. Yet there were tons of gay people there cheering them on. I guess they wanted to be occupied if you know what I mean and I think you do.

The trannies and drag queens did such a good job because I actually thought they were women. I had to look up Carmen Carrera after watching her drive by to realize that she actually was a man. I was trying to figure out how a nice straight looking couple with a daughter driving by fit in with Gay Pride and had to use google to find out they weren’t a straight couple. Science has definitely taken a step forward for the cross dressers and transgendered community. Similarly the Dykes on Bikes that start the parade looked butcher than many Hell’s Angels I’ve seen.

Sarah Silverman was also on hand because she can’t do a stand up routine without making a butt joke, so that must have been her tie in with gay pride. I have many friends that are gay, but I’ve never attended one of the parades. I don’t do well in overly crowded places and I probably wouldn’t do well in places that were overly crowded with fabulous people. Besides that I wouldn’t want to be spreading my cold around. I do want to go one day and take my daughter and wife just to see how many of our friends we’ll see. The problem I’m seeing from the footage is that the rainbow flag got dropped in bleach somewhere down the line.

Gay pride has become rather homogenized like milk, which is white. I was attacked for my article on why people hate the Marina by someone who said it’s too white. Well, it’s not too white, but it’s very Americanized. Too white is what I was seeing at the Gay Pride Parade. When Mayor Lee walks with the Golden State Warriors and all you see are bunch of tall white guys walking with a short Asian mayor something’s not right. A basketball team and there isn’t a single brother to be seen? Oh wait there’s the police driving by and waving and hey, there’s a person of color waving…from the back of the police car.

The you had the tag alongs and I’m not speaking about the Filipino language [inside joke], but the groups that really didn’t have anything to do with Gay Pride, like  the ACLU and Immigrants rights. Sure I bet there are some who are gay, but the whole parade is about celebrating being gay. Not about unions [which the last time they had a parade I believe the police were envolved and it wasn’t pretty] or letting immigrants into San Francisco [which is a standard practice depending on where you walk in the city]. Sarah Silverman was quoted as saying she supports pride day because it’s about being bad for a day. Uhm, OK, now it’s just pride day and not about gay pride? Hell Muni did it better by having all the busses displaying EQUALITY FOR ALL over the weekend.

I’m totally in favor of legalized gay marriage because with disposable income San Francisco’s Wedding planners would make tons of money. I honestly don’t care what type of person you’re attracted to. It’s not what’s between your legs, but what’s in your head. My head still isn’t right after being sick for a week, but at least I survived my zombie apocalypse without eating anyones face off. So I apologize if this story sounds like I was rambling, because I am.

And to finish off, Morrissey is gayer than the Gay Pride parade.

San Francisco: Not so gay anymore.

Apparently, according to the Advocate, the news source for the LGBT community, San Francisco isn’t so gay anymore. As a matter of fact we’re down at #11. How could that be?

“For each city, The Advocate added up numbers for Gay.com profiles, listed officiants for gay weddings within a 50-mile radius, openly gay elected officials, performances by lesbian sisters musical duo Tegan and Sara over the past five years, lesbian bars, gay and gay-friendly religious congregations and entries in YellowPages.com with “gay” in the business name or description.”

So it was just a little number crunching that took us off the list.. Well, that’s fine by me because people who are in LGBT community have been cited as the leading cause of all the problems we have in San Francisco. Now we can just say, “Nope” and point to…wait for it…Minneapolis, Minnesota is the gayest town in the US. Here’s the article at advocate.com says explains it all. Apparently last year we didn’t even make the list and Atlanta was on top.

[mappress mapid=”3″]This should come as good news to Rev. Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas better known as “GodHatesFags.com” because he and his buddies will have less of drive for the protesting and picketing. There’ll be less reason for him to come to California and save a dime or two. Good for him and good for us. So what is the overall ranking on “gayness”?

Here’s the list:

1. Minneapolis, Minnesota
2. Santa Fe, New Mexico
3. Las Vegas, Nevada
4. Orlando, Florida
5. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
6. Vancouver, Washington
7. Atlanta, Georgia
8. Washington, D.C.
9. Seattle, Washington
10. St. Louis, Missouri
11. San Francisco, California
12. Cleveland, Ohio
13. Denver, Colorado
14. Oakland, California
15. Miami, Florida

Miami is last on the list? ¡Ay Papi! What about South Beach? No Los Angeles or New York? How can this be? Are the members of the LGBT community going to the suburbs?