The Purge of 2016

1939 World's Fair BrochuresI am a third generation native San Franciscan. My Grandparents moved here in the 20’s and my family has never left. Unfortunately my family has been collecting lots of junk since the 20’s that my wife and I have been uncovering since we moved into the house.

My Grandfather was born in 1887 and my Grandmother in 1906. Apparently while I knew my Mom was a pack rat, I didn’t realize that my Grandparents were even worse. As Wife and I have been going through all the nooks and crannies of the house discovering things there are of course something we want to keep, but other things that have no value except to someone who knew my Grandparents which are few and far between in the 21st century.

I’ve decided to start a chronicle of the stuff we’ve found in the house because it’s kind of fun to look back on parts of San Francisco history through the eyes of people other than yourself. In a lot of ways I wish I had spent more time talking with my Grandmother about some the things I found that I wish we had found while she was still alive, but at least I still have my 98 year old Auntie Gert who remembers some of these things to help me out.

The first thing I came across was a collection of brochures from San Francisco’s 1939/1940 World’s Fair. My Mom was 10 years old and I’m pretty sure she collected most of these. It’s kind of interesting to look back to the earlier part of the 20th Century, pre-WWII and see what was on everyone’s mind. Apparently, electricity wasn’t everywhere in the United States and that was a big thing to talk about back then. Just take a look at some of the pictures and enjoy. Keep checking back as I’ll be archiving more photos for this gallery…

Superheroes of the Sunset!

There is a family of superheros lurking in the Sunset district and they are my family. I discovered our superhuman powers today on a trip to IKEA. Normally we don’t have much of a problem with IKEA, but the following story will introduce you to our superhuman ways which hopefully only occur outside of San Francisco. Allow me to introduce you.

I am Gravitron! A man of seemingly normal size, yet he has an internal mass of that close to Jupiter. As we were walking around IKEA I noticed people were bumping into me so I stopped walking due to irritation and the need to punch something preferable human that wouldn’t land me in a jail cell. Straight ahead, family of four, walking a straight line and yet as they got closer and closer their straight line trajectory started to veer off, pulled by the gravitation forces Gravitron exudes. I even cleared my throat to make this a near impact event yet Fi! Tis not! They walked right into me. I attracted in excess of 10 tractor beam like collisions with double that in near misses.

Now it is time to meet my wife, The Invisible Woman. She has the power to walk next to you and as you are talking to her when you turn your head your sentence ends with, “where the hell is she?!” She is obviously immune to the pull of Gravitron, but that is to be expected after being married for 14 years. She at least is lucky enough to not be sucking IKEA patrons in to herself like Gravitron, but this also makes Gravitron have to conduct all business transactions because she gets ignored by their dreaded nemesis, Check out Boy who can’t see her until Gravitron throws off the IKEA customers stuck to him at Check out Boy to get his attention.

Ahh, and then there is the sweetest of the family, their daughter, White Dwarf. She who is small in stature, yet at 3.5 years old is like pushing Jabba the Hut in a wheelchair. Luckily she has not folded in on herself to become Black Hole, which, let’s face it would be a creepy superhero name. She is not fat, barely reaching 40lbs, but she has the innate ability to make herself heavier in her vehicle of transport called, “The Stroller” by pushing her feet against the wheel that you will break a sweat within 20 ft of pushing her. Lucky for us, her kryptonite is french fries which weakens her strength.

So now I know why families get a little stressed by group outings. Always remember in the words of Gravitron while shopping in stores, “Walk! Don’t Block!”